Family girl
by Muff21
Summary: Cordelia has to make a decision. What life does she want to live?


Title: Family Girl   
Author: Muff21   
Rating: PG   
Pairing: A/C but a little of C/S   
Summary: Cordelia discovers a future she never knew she could have.   
Spoilers: Up to after waiting in the wings   
Comments: My first story   
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me 

* * *

**Part 1** Bang! Bang ! Bang!, Cordelia looked up as she heard the knocking on the door. She smiled as Dennis blew past her opening the front door.   
  
"Movie night!" screamed Gunn as he ran into the room carrying bags full of snacks.   
  
Fred followed giggling, " Hi ya Cordy!"   
  
Wesley sheepishly followed them in, uttering a quiet hello. Cordelia leaned against the wall, all the while giving her friends her famous grin. It slowly faded as she noticed that Angel and his son were not behind them.   
  
"Guys, where is Angel?", she choked out. I have his blood all warm and ready, Conner's cradle is set up, and I rented a movie I thought he would like."   
  
Wesley slipped off his glasses and wiped them off before placing them back on. " Well, I believe that you upset him this afternoon. I'm not sure, but I believe that it was the fact that you called him a power hungry enunch."   
  
" I was joking! It's a common fact that he is a enunch, and you know that he misses being the boss just a little bit."   
  
Gunn started to laugh and managed to spit popcorn all over the couch. " You didn't seem to think he was a enunch when we went to the ballet. Barbie, you are the only person that could make him so angry over something so stupid." Gunn choked, as Fred slapped him on the back, causing him once again to spit his food everywhere.   
  
"Charles, shut up!" she warned, Leave Cordy alone, and clean up your mess."   
  
Cordelia managed a slight small, as she plopped down next to Wesley and pressed play on the remote. She usually would start arguing with Gunn, but his words hit home. She had begun to realize that she had real feelings for Angel. Every since Groo came back, and kissed her, she knew in the back of her mind that his kisses could never be like Angel's. She pushed those thoughts away though. Angel didn't love her. He might love her as a friend but that was it. He would always love Buffy and nothing could change that. That didn't stop her from feeling the way she did though. These weren't feelings that just went away. These type of feelings stayed with a person forever.   
  
Cordelia stayed silent the whole movie, only laughing when everyone else did. " Why did I pick this stupid movie? Family man my ass. That would never happen, people do not get second chances in real life like that.   
  
Later that night…….   
  
Cordelia layed in bed staring at the ceiling. " Dennis, I hate my life." Cordelia watched as the frame containing a picture of her, Angel, and Connor silently shook in the air. " Yeah, I get it Dennis. Nice try" Cordelia sighed as she drifted off into a restless slumber.   
  
  
Next morning…………   
  
" Mommy, wake up" Cordelia opened her eyes, squinting at the blob in front of her. The blob jumped on Cordelia and as her vison cleared, Cordelia became shell shocked at the little girl before her. Cordelia looked around the room and noticed that she was in a spare room at the Hyperion. As she gently pushed the little girl off of her. The bedroom door creaked open. " Look mommy, it's daddy!   
  
Cordelia nearly screamed at the person standing in front of her. " What the hell? Spike?" 

* * *

**Part 2** "Uh yeah. I'm Spike, you're Cordelia, and that is our daughter Annabelle. Spike shot her a weird look before walking over and placing a kiss on her cheek. Cordelia shrunk back in disgust.   
  
"I'm not married to you!"   
  
"That's right. You're not. We discussed this before. Cordelia, we can have a relationship, but if we were married we would feel trapped. If we feel trapped, then we fight. Fighting is not good for Annabell."   
  
"Says the chipped vampire!"   
  
"Cordy! What is with you? I'm not a vampire."   
  
" Yes you are!"   
  
"Stop it! You're scaring Annabell. Come on Belle. Let's go downstairs and make some pancakes. We'll give your mom some time to cool off, and she can meet us downstairs. Spike walked towards the door. As he was about to leave, he turned and gave Cordelia one last questioning glance. Then picking up Belle, he left the room.   
  
Cordelia began to pace around the room. " What is going on? This has to be a dream. I would never do anything with Spike. He's ….Spike. Gross!"   
Cordelia ran her fingers through her hair. " Oh shit! My hair, it feels different." She ran over to look in an antique mirror hanging on the wall. " It's Blonde! My hair is blonde! I look like a Buffy wannabe. What kind of hell dimension is this." She looked toward the ceiling speaking to no one in particular, " Tell me what is going on." All of a sudden the ceiling began to swirl, and wider and wider it grew, until a vast hole had formed. A package came flying out of the hole and landed at Cordelia's feet. It was wrapped in paper that was covered with pictures of Cordelia. Pictures of her as a child, with her family, with the Scooby gang, and also with Angel. She picked it up, twirling it from hand to hand. As she turned it, she noticed a tag attached. She read it out loud,   
  
Dear Ms. Chase,   
To fully understand this situation, please watch the tape enclosed inside. Please note that the narrator on the screen can hear and see you, just as you can hear and see him.   
Sincerely,   
The Powers that Be   
  
Cordelia leaned back on her heels and hissed," You guys are unbelievable. Vision after Vision I go through, and now I am in Hell. Having a daughter is great, but engaging in a relationship with Spike, totally and utterly repulsive. I don't deserve this. I wasn't that bitchy in high school. Fine, I was, but still, nobody and I mean nobody deserves Spike. Well, except Buffy."   
Cordelia stomped across the room and settled at the bureau. She reached up and popped the tape into the VCR. She walked backwards and sat Indian Style on the bed. As she watched the tape, it slowly changed from static to an image. Cordelia gasped, and almost fell off the bed as she saw the person on the screen. Her eyes welled up with tears as he began to speak.   
  
"Hey Princess! Babe don't cry. It's really me. I made it! I'm in Heaven, and Heaven is everything I always thought it would be."   
  
Cordelia laughed at Doyle's appearance. He was wearing one of those awful Hawaiian shirts and he had a bottle of whiskey in his one hand, a pair of sunglasses in the other. His eyes sparkled with love, and his mouth was pulled into a quirky grin. He was lounged out on a beach chair in the middle of what looked like a never-ending beach.   
  
" Look Princess, You're a special person. You mean a lot to the PTB. You have the strength and determination to change the world. The PTB doesn't just see you as a seer, They see you as a warrior. However, you are always brooding over Angel. If you are always upset, you can not full fill your duties. They view that as a liability. Man, I still can't imagine you brooding over Angel."   
  
Cordelia jumped up to explain, " Doyle, I'm sorry. I loved you so much, and I didn't realize how much until you were gone. It's just that Angel and I became so close, and I fell in love and…   
  
"Cordy! It's okay. It was my time to go. If I had to do it all over again I would. Back to the point, this is an alternate reality. The PTB created this to show you how decisions that you make, can change your life forever. Cordy, you have to understand. Every person has a road that they travel during life. It's a long road full of joy, sorrow, laughter, etc. As a person gets older, and wiser, they meet a fork in the road. They have two choices. One road leads to a life of contentment, sometimes misery. One road leads to a life that they never dreamed they could experience. When you reach that fork, you make a decision. The decision you make, decides what life you will continue to lead. My fork was when I jumped. When I made that decision, I earned myself absolute joy, because I knew that you and Angel would be safe. I knew that if I didn't have my family, I would have been desolate. The fork is different for everyone. Princess, in this reality, you and Angel are not friends. A few years back, Angel, Spike, Buffy and yourself won a battle that guaranteed the continuation of mankind. Angel and Spike both shanshued. When Angel tried to build a life with you, you pushed him away. You told him that no matter what he told you, you knew that he would always love Buffy. He tried to argue, but you were stubborn. So he left. When he left, you flew into a jealous rage. You threw things, you cursed, and you dyed your hair. You thought that if you looked more like Buffy, he would come back."   
  
Cordelia stared with her mouth agape, " So basically, I was desperate."   
  
Doyle scrunced up his face and tried not to laugh. " Well not desperate, but you were kind of insane for a while" His face once again became serious as he continued, " You had this dream embedded in your head. Angel, you and Connor, the perfect family. You became inconsolable for weeks. Fred, Wesley, and Gunn tried to help, but you ignored them. One day, you screamed at them. Told them you didn't need their help, and that they should leave you alone forever. They didn't, but after weeks of cruel treatment from you, they did. Wesley became Faith's watcher again, after Buffy retired. Gunn and Fred broke up. Gunn went back to his gang, and Fred moved back in with her parents. Finally a few months after everyone left, you got a visit from Spike. You both went to Caritas, drowned your sorrows in alcohol, and Annabelle was the product of that night. After Annabelle was born, Spike moved in and you had yourself a dysfunctional family. Buffy and Angel come to vist occasionally, for the sake of Connor. He still loves you but he thinks of Buffy as his mother now."   
  
Cordelia stifled a sob. " Connor is my son. I raised him!"   
  
" Not in this reality princess."   
  
Cordelia was brought out of her daze by the sound of the phone ringing.   
  
Doyle smiled at her. " Better get that."   
  
Cordelia scrambled across the room , and picked up the receiver. " Hello?"   
  
"Hi ya Cordy! It's Connor."   
  
Cordelia's eyes lit up and her face stretched into a grin at the sound of his voice. " Hi sweetie."   
  
" I miss you Cordy. I want to come visit, but my mommy says you and Spike are too busy playing house. I gotta go, my mommy needs to call Auntie Willow. Bye!"   
  
Cordelia's grin slowly faded as she dropped to her knees. As all the information came flooding into her head, she became nauseous. She saw white dots at the corner of her eyes. As the room started to close in around her, she heard Doyle's voice ringing in her ears.   
  
" This is only a glimpse of what could happen, choose your path carefully."   
  
Then she slipped into darkness. 

* * *

**Part 3** Cordelia swirled through the black tunnel. She fell swinging her arms, Unrelentlessly trying to steady herself. Her mouth hung open, framed in a scream. Visions passed before her eyes like a slide show. These visions were depressing, but not because of the agonizing pain inflicted on her, or the gruesome acts that were shown to her. They were depressing, because they stood for dreams that she knew she could never achieve. Cordelia watched the visions with tears in her eyes. They made her smile and cry at the same time.   
  
She saw a vision of her and Angel dancing at her fortieth birthday party. She witnessed Angel leaning close to her whispering loving words in her ear, his breath tickling her neck. His hand swept behind her back, tracing delicate circles on her spine.   
  
She saw Connor at his high-school graduation. His jubilant grin as he raised his hand in victory, when his diploma was handed to him. The smile he flashed her as he mouthed, " I love you mom" She could feel the sense of pride moving from her head to her toes. She could feel her eyes light up as she clapped for her son.   
  
She saw herself at Christmas, sitting by the fire wrapped in Angel's arms. A dog lying at their feet, and Connor skipping around them declaring, " I want presents." Connor jumping into her arms after she gave him his brand new bicycle.   
  
She saw Lorne, running down the stairs in the Hyperion, dressed in a Santa Suit. With his green horns, sticking out of his jolly hat and presents in his sack. He belted out, "I wish you a Merry Christmas," while Cordelia and Fred danced around the lobby throwing confetti in the air. Angel simply rolled his eyes and laughed at the silly sight, while Wesley sat reading a book to Connor, and Gunn simply sung along with Lorne.   
  
  
She saw The Scooby Gang and her family gathered around a picnic table   
outside the hyperion. Conner was behind Xander throwing a ball at his head,while Xander pretended not to notice. Anya was laughing, encouraging Connor to " throw the ball harder." Cordelia was spooning a sort of crusty looking salad onto everyone's plate as she declared " You better eat it all. I made it" Gunn laughed as Angel scooped his off his plate and sneakily fed it to the dog. Fred was discussing the effect of math on economy with Willow,   
and Buffy and Spike were making out, ignoring Dawn's outlandish screams of " Eww! Can you say GPDA!" ( gross public displays of affection.)   
  
  
Cordelia shut her eyes, willing the visions to disappear, because if they didn't she would get lost in this dream world. She continued to fall, and suddenly she felt her feet slam against the ground. A bright light flashed before her eyes and she strained to open them. When she did, she found that she was standing in front of the Hyperion. She recognized it as the Hotel, but everything was different. There was a porch, built on to the front, and a   
swing was tied onto the Oak tree. Tulips were planted along the path, and a chime hung from the porch, singing a song in almost perfect harmony, with the birds that surrounded her.   
  
Cordelia's eyes sparkled at the cheery enviroment, " This does not look like LA. I feel like I'm in a fairy tale."   
  
Cordelia looked toward the sky. " Doyle, I don't understand what is going on."   
  
As Cordelia was looking toward the sky a butterfly flew from the clouds. It was made of vibrant, silky colors that complimented the deep blue of the sky. It flapped its wings, until it landed on Cordelia's outstretched palm. The Butterfly's colors began to fade, and its body began to shrink until it had completely morphed into a single sheet of paper. Cordelia picked it up, and   
recognized the messy scrawl as Doyle's.   
  
Princess,   
This is yet another alternate reality. This is what could be if you take the right path on the road of life. You have one day. Live this life, enjoy, and remember the choice is yours, Only you can shape your existance.   
  
Doyle   
  
Cordelia finished reading the note. She folded it and placed it in the pocket of her jeans. As she looked down, she pondered, " Last time, I checked I wasn't wearing jeans. I was wearing silk pajamas. I also didn't have a cladaugh wedding ring on." She shrugged her shoulders and walked toward the entrance of the Hyperion. She climbed the stairs and jumped over a toy truck. She paused at the door, bracing herself for what might be inside.   
Squaring her shoulders, she walked in.   
  
  
" SURPRISE!"   
  
Cordelia gawked at the scene before her. The lobby was decorated in bright blue streamers. Balloons hung from the ceiling and presents adorned the counter. Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Angel, Lorne, and Connor stood before her. Angel was dressed more casually then she had ever seen him. He was wearing black jeans, and a white tank top, that showed off his rippling muscles. Cordelia's mouth begin to water as she gazed at him. She looked at everyone else. Connor had a party hat on, and the rest of the family was standing there looking excited.   
  
Angel walked toward her, his arms outstretched. " Happy Anniversary honey. I love you."   
  
Cordelia's breath caught, as he engulfed her in his strong embrace. He placed tiny kissed along her forehead, as she leaned against his chest. Cordelia was brought to her senses as she heard his heartbeat and felt the heat of his body, warming her over. She pulled back.   
  
" Angel, you're human?"   
  
"Of course I am. Have been for years honey."   
  
Cordelia just smiled, overwhelmed at her own happiness.   
  
Angel looked at her and said, " Cordy, I have a special present just for you. In honor of our 3rd anniversary, I am going to sing you a special song."   
  
Cordelia grimaced. " Angel, its okay! You don't have to sing. Really, its ok." She looked around at the others, expecting them to support her. All she found was five people all looking at her, with devious grins, and earmuffs sitting on their head. Cordelia shot them glares as she turned to Angel.   
  
" Go ahead Angel."   
  
Angel jumped up onto the counter. He twirled around grabbing a cup that he used as a microphone. He ripped off his shirt and began to sing.   
  
" I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, yeah baby!"   
  
He strutted around the counter, singing verses, while Cordy held back a laugh. As he stripped down to his boxers, Gunn covered Fred's eyes, while Lorne covered Connor's. Wesley just ran to his office and slammed the door. When Angel turned around and shook his butt, Cordy fell to the floor. She was laughing hysterically. Her face was beet red, and tears were pouring from her eyes. After 5 verses of "Im too sexy, Angel finished. He jumped off the counter and twirled Cordy around.   
  
" How was I"   
  
Cordy giggled, " You were marvelous darling. Just marvelous."   
  
The party continued on late into the night. Before Cordy went to her suite, she tucked Connor in. She dressed him in his barney pajamas, handed him his bear,and read him a story. As she leaned over to kiss him goodnight, his tiny hands snaked around her neck. He pulled her close, and whispered,   
  
" I love you Momma."   
  
" I love you too baby."   
  
Kissing him one more time she turned on his nightlight and left the room. She walked next door into her suite. Angel was laying in bed reading a book. He looked up as she entered.   
  
" Hey Cordy, You coming to bed?"   
  
" Yeah, I'm just going to brush my teeth."   
  
He nodded and she walked into the bathroom. Her hand snaked along the wall searching for the lightswitch. She found it, turned it on, and turned to look in the mirror. She smiled at her appearance. She didn't know when she had ever looked this happy. As she continued to stare, she suddenly found herself staring at Doyle's reflection. She gasped.   
  
" Damnit Doyle!. Don't scare me like that."   
  
" Look Princess, you have to leave."   
  
" No, I'm not leaving. This is the perfect life and I want it."   
  
Cordelia began to whine and stutter and toothpaste began to foam out of her mouth. The toothbrush she was holding dropped from her hand, cluttering against the cool marble of the sink.   
  
Doyle glared at her, his voice turning stern. " Cordelia, did you pay any attention to what I have told you in the past day? This can be your life. You just have to make the right decision. You have to figure out what your fork in the road is, and choose you path. The whole point of this little adventure was to show you what you can have. The Powers that Be said that your time is up here. They're getting impatient. Now all you have to do is reach into the mirror. It wont stay solid. I promise."   
  
Cordelia hesitantly threw a glance towards the bathroom door and began to step away. It wasn't until Doyle screeched," Now Cordelia!' that she reached toward the mirror. She expected her hand to make impact with solid glass, but it went deeper into the mirror, as the mirror turned a dark black. The mirror began to swirl and Cordelia stepped back. Suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed Cordelia and pulled her into the make shift portal. She was once again flying through the darkness, but this time she knew she was going home. 

* * *

**Part 4**   
Ugh, Cordelia groaned as she sat up, hitting the snooz button on her alarm clock. Her eyes widened as she looked around the room. She was sitting in her bed, in her regular ghost infested apartment.   
  
She smiled," It must have been a dream. I dreamed it all."   
  
Cordelia stood up, stretching her legs. She looked down   
" It was a dream! I'm wearing the same pajamas that I fell asleep in. I want that life though, I want to be Angel's wife, I want to have his kids. I even want to have picnics with the damn Scooby Gang."   
  
She smiled as she silently recalled her adventure. She sleepily stumbled into the small kitchen, opening the refridgerator, while Dennis flipped on the light. She peered around and grabbed a carton of apple juice. She froze as she took notice of the blood, and bottles on the lower tier. She recalled her fight with Angel the night before.   
  
"You are insensitive Cordelia! All you think is about is yourself."   
  
  
"Angel, how dare you say that! I gave up so much for you. Hello, Do I have a normal life? No! I gave up being a star for you. It is not my fault that you are a power hungry enunch."   
  
Cordelia grimaced as she recalled the harsh words spoken between them. At the time she had brushed off the incident as a silly spat, but she now realized the impact of her words. She sat down in the nearest chair, while Dennis gave her a pat on the back. She sat lost in her thoughts, until a knocking on the door shook her out of it. She stood up and walked towards the door. She opened, expecting anyone but the person staring at her. Angel stood looking at her, his hands sheepishly stashed in his pant pockets.   
  
" Angel! What are you doing here?"   
  
Angel rushed into the room, his black duster swirling behind him.   
  
" Cordy, I am so sorry. I did not mean a word of what I said yesterday. I was just in a bad mood and I took it out on you. Cordy, you and Connor are the most important people in my life. You are not selfish. You are anything but. If you really want a normal life, I can go see the Powers that Be and we can see if we can reverse your decision to be half demon."   
  
Cordelia interrupted sharply,   
  
" Angel! No! I wouldn't ever regret my decision. I have a reason to live now. I have a family, a great job, an awesome best friend, and to top it off, I have a live in ghost who does laundry. What more could a girl want?"   
  
" Cordelia, you deserve the world. You deserve your prince charming, and your fairy tale. You deserve to be able to wake up in the morning, and worry about getting to work on time, and not whether your new demon powers are gonna act up. You deserve to live in the sunshine. You deserve everything that I can't give you!"   
  
Angel shook as he uttered the difficult words. His usually pale skin was flushed and his eyes shone brightly speaking volumes to Cordelia.   
  
Cordelia smiled as she hurried to explain.   
  
" Angel, I am living a fairy tale. Do you think I ever thought that demons existed when I was playing tea in my expensive playhouse? Do you think that I was loved unconditionally by my parents, and that I was happier then I could ever be. No, I wasn't, but I have that now. I'm happy Angel, I'm happy."   
  
Angel smiled as the words sunk in. He embraced her, crushing her small form against his giant frame. He held her head against his chest and she wrapped her arms around his waist. His hands traced circles on her shoulders that were left bare by the skimpy pajama top she had on. He let loose with a smile as he asked,   
  
" Then are we ok now?"   
  
Cordelia grinned back, tilting her head to look up at him,   
  
" Yeah Dork, We're fine. Everything is perfect."   
  



End file.
